Saturday, 18 September 2010

Saturday Centus Week 20

Jenny Matlock
This is a themed writing meme.

You can use UP to 100 words (not including the prompt) to tell your story. You cannot use pictures to illustrate your story. It can be fact or fiction. The only restrictions is the prompt must be left intact WHICH MEANS you cannot split up the words in the prompt.
You have the entire week to link your work to the meme and you can link more than one story if you like.
Please display link button or just a hyper-link back to Saturday Centus. Be careful to link your SC URL to the Linky and not just link to your main blog.
I would suggest that since these are so short, if you can't think of a title just use your blog name as the title in the Linky.
Try to visit each one because there are some amazing writers participating in this meme. Since the links are so short they are also a fun and quick read.
Please e-mail me directly with ???'s or ask your question in a comment and I will do my best to get back to you as soon as possible.
Tina contributed the prompt this week and I think you're really going to enjoy it! Thanks Tina!
WEEK 20 PROMPT

"This is never going to come out," she thought as she scrubbed at the spot on the worn carpet.


This link will be live until next Saturday morning around 7 am. And please, remember to link to your SC URL...not your main blog. If you are unsure how to do this please leave me a message in the comments or e-mail me and I'll help you through it! Have fun!

This is my SC text:
(Scroll all the way down to the end for a special Swedish version of this text. Fortsätt längst ner för att läsa en svensköversätting av den här texten.
)


"She doesn't like dogs. Keep Max in the bedroom", John warned before leaving to fetch his grandmother, who raised him. She was going to meet Sarah.

After the first introductions, John opened a bottle, filled three glasses and was about to open his mouth to propose a toast, when a Dachshund suddenly jumped up on old Mrs. Rolf's lap, licking her square in the face. She froze spilling the wine on Sarah's carpet. The rest of the meal was icey, until John took his grandmother home, leaving Sarah alone with the cleaning.
"This is never going to come out," she thought as she scrubbed at the spot on the worn carpet. Max came and licked her face.

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Here is a special Swedish version for Tina of Life is Good and anyone else living outside of Sweden, who can read Swedish: All vowels that have an umlaut have an extra 'e' after them in this text. The letter 'a' that has a ring over it is simply dubbled. I normally don't do this on my Swedish Language blogs, that are read by people in Sweden, because my readers there all have Swedish letters on their computers. This is a special 'export'-text.
Här nedan är samma text översätt till svenska utan diakritiska tecken som in finns på engelskspråkiga tangentboard. Ett 'e' efter vokalen betyder två prickar och ett extra 'a' efter en 'a' betyder en ring:

"Hon tycker inte om hundar. Lämna Max i sovrummet", foermanade Jon innan han gav sig av foer att haemta sin mormor som hade varit hans foermyndare under uppvaexttiden. Hon skulle traeffa Sara foer foersta gaangen.
Efter de första presentationerna oeppnade Jon en flaska, haellde vin i tre glas och skulle just oeppna munnen foer att skaala, naer en tax helt ploetsligt hoppade up i knaeet paa gamla fru Rolf och slickade henne mitt i ansiktet. Hon stenlade till och spillde vin på Saras matta. Måltiden foerblev kylig, aenda tills Jon skjutsade hem sin mormor. Han lämnade Sara ensam med staedningen.
"Det haer kommer aldrig bort," taenkte hon medan hon gned på flaecken i den slitna mattan. Max kom fram och slickade henne i ansiktet.

Best wishes,

Anna

First
Commenter:
Deborah of
The Caterpillar Uprising




21 Comments:

Deborah said...

Oh I just loved this!! :o)

Deborah said...

Aaah thank you Anna, I've tried to comment on your posts before but couldn't find the comment bit! so glad this one made it x

Kat said...

This was really good Anna. I like your use of the prompt. Poor Sarah, bet she and John have some words when he gets back home LOL Kat

Viki said...

Hopefully, the grandmother will warm up to Sarah and Max LOL. Good job on this.

Sue said...

I liked your ending with her "this will never come out" thought. It seemed to have a double meaning...for the carpet and for the relationship.

My name is PJ. said...

I like the hopeful note at the end when the dog licks her face.

Bookie said...

Oh the wine is such a culprit!!! Felt the chilly atmosphere....

Ann said...

Excellent. Any time you hear "she doesn't like dogs" there's bound to be an encounter that doesn't go well. At least Max ended it with a little puppy dog love :)

jfb57 said...

Well they do say a dog is mans best friend! Good post!

Lourie said...

I love writing like this. The kind that puts me right in the middle of it. Great job.

Anna said...

Deborah
Dear Deborah,
Welcome aboard! Nice to meet you! Glad you could leave a comment. Sometimes the technical aspects of blogging get in the way of creativity.
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Kat
Dear Kat,
Thank you for your kind words about my writing. These are totally fictional people based upon bits and pieces of people I have known in my life. The fun thing is that they very suddenly came to life just before I posted this text. I started out with a text that was twice as long and had to cut out words and still hoped that it would make sense.
The conflict between the older woman and the younger woman is fairly obvious, but the conflict between John and Sarah was not clear to me until after I reread the finished text. I really like your comment because you have seen something clearly that I only vaguely understood.
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Viki
Dear Viki,
Your comment is interesting because you inject some hope into this situation that otherwise seems so hopeless. Yes, if the older woman could warm up to Max and take the pressure off John, maybe he would be kinder to Sarah(?).
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Sue
Dear Sue,
What a wonderful observation you have there! The possible double meaning of "This will never come out..." I did think of this, but it was as if the text was writing itself. It is the prompt itself, but the surrounding text gives it the double-meaning.
Thanks for noticing that. I like it too.
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My name is PJ
Dear PJ,
I agree with you about the dog. The dog is both a trouble-maker (by running out of the bedroom where it was supposed to stay during the old lady's visit) and a healer (comforting Sarah while she gets to do the dirty work after the dinner party).
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Bookie
Dear Bookie,
Another good observation here. Wine is a culprit in two ways: First because of the stains in the rug and secondly for the lack of clarity after drinking too much of it.

Is John driving a car after drinking wine?? A big no-no in Sweden. He can get is driver's license revoked if a policeman stops him. These people probably live in the US because of their English names.

'Max' the Dachshund, is actually a character from a Swedish children's book by Gosta Knutsson (the first 'o' in his first name has an umlaut).
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Ann
Dear Ann,
I'm so glad you could read this. If you hadn't I would have left a comment on your blog with a link! You, if anyone, understands the dangers of a person who does not like dogs, especially such a friendly good-natured Dachshund like Max here. He just wants to play with old Mrs. Rolf.
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jfb57
Dear jfb57,
Thank you for your kind words. Yes, that's my point, Max just wants to be a friend.
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Lourie
Thank you for the compliment. Actually, I am very pleased with this text today. I felt really good after I posted it.

I have been reading different handbooks about writing, written by different authors. One of the things that Stephen King's stresses in his book On Writng is just the importance of cutting away unecessary words and information from a text. He recommends Strunk's The Elements of Style. But I still have so much to learn.
This is one of the things that is so good about Mrs. Matlock's Saturday Centus-100 word maximum, is that it forces us to choose our words wisely. These are excellent exercises that can help us write better.
------
Thank you all of you wonderful people for your warm and thoughtful comments.
Best wishes,
Anna

Terra said...

oh anna, it is hard to be mad a dog isn't it...

June Freaking Cleaver said...

Maybe Max wants her to dump John...and figures if grandma doesn't like her, the relationship is doomed.

myorii said...

Ooo, talk about bad timing. Well things happen that is beyond her control. If John can't deal with that fact, then maybe he needs to go. Great writing!

Tgoette said...

LOL! Well done! Though I can't imagine anyone not liking dogs! They are so sweet. Great use of the prompt this week!

Tina said...

Jag har last mycket om vin och blod denna gongen...kul. Din (take on the prompt...it's been a long time...my Swedish is extremely rusty...) var skoj. Sa kul att bli vanner med en annan Svensk pa detta stallet.

jeff campbell said...

Very nice Christina...I liked it a lot...dogs can be troublesome in the house...Peace

RockiBottom said...

keep the dog, ditch the grandma. LOL! Nice job this week

~Lissa said...

I really enjoyed this SC! I love how clueless dogs can be to the destruction they cause, both to physical objects and even personal relationships, and you showed that very well.

Jenny said...

Anna, I really liked how you twisted this! What a fun and funny prompt!

I like your different use of it!

Thanks for linking.

cj Schlottman said...

Po0r Puppy! He was just trying to make friends. NIce take, a little different slant, on this week's centus.


Thanks..........cj

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