Saturday, 26 February 2011

Mrs. Jenny Matlock's Saturday Centus Week 43

Jenny Matlock

Saturday Centus week 43

Please scroll down past my text to read Mrs. Jenny Matlock's instructions.

This is my SC-text for this week:

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'I'm sorry,' said the bank manager refusing to give her a loan.
She went outside to the ATM-machine.
'Only have until the end of the month to get everything out before the auction,' she thought. Putting her ATM-card in the slot, she pressed her code and waited. The ATM machine began dispensing twenties. She let them fall into her shopping bag until it was filled. A thin paper receipt popped out.
'Can't keep this,' she said while handing the bag and receipt to the teller.
Seeing her again before she left he said: 'Wait a minute. Let's talk more about that loan.'

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Wordcount: 100
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Best wishes,
Anna
P.S.
Scoll all the way down past everything. I have decided to rewrite this text. I think it could be clearer if I reword it slightly. Please take a look and compare!

First Commenter:

Donnie
of
New Blessing Everyday


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Welcome to week forty-three of Saturday Centus.

I see you cringing.

Please. Don't be afraid.

I'm going to be nice this week. No wicked prompts based on weird canine romance or strange song lyrics.

Just a plain, old, regular boring SC based on a prompt.

I pinky swear...this is not a trick.

This weeks prompt is:

The ATM machine began dispensing twenties...

You can use this prompt and UP TO 100 additional words to write a story of your choosing in any style of writing you prefer. Just keep your story PG and try to visit as many of the other links as you can!

Please display link button or just a hyper-link back to Saturday Centus. Be careful to link your SC URL to the Linky and not just link to your main blog.

Please e-mail me directly with ???'s or ask your question in a comment and I will do my best to get back to you as soon as possible.

OK. You can exhale now. No tricks at all this week. Just a sweet little treat of a prompt for you to play with.

Feel free to link up anytime between now and next Saturday!


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Here is my re-write:

'I'm sorry,' said the bank manager, refusing her a loan.

She went outside to the ATM-machine.
'Only have until the end of the month,' she thought. Putting her ATM-card in the slot, she pressed her code and waited. The ATM machine began dispensing twenties. She let them fall into her shopping bag until it was completely filled. A thin paper receipt popped out.

'There's something's wrong. This isn't from my account,' she said while handing over the bag and receipt to the teller.

Seeing her again before she left, the loan officer said: 'Wait a minute. Let's talk more about that loan.'


Wordcount: 100
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Jenny Matlock


20 Comments:

Donnie said...

What a cute story and so full of hope. Great job.

Bookie said...

Glad to see bankers can have a change of heart--in fiction at least.

Anna said...

Dear Donnie and Bookie,
I'm afraid that this centus is a piece of fiction, grown out of my own wishful-thinking. Reality is a lot crueler. I wish this were a true story!
Hugs,
Anna

Nonna Beach said...

Very good use of the prompt Anna, especially in this stinkin' economy.
Oh, I want a bag full of money and a Bank Manager with a heart of gold too !

Karen S. said...

One good deed deserves another! Good for the bank loan officer! Give the lady the loan already!

Rekha said...

Lovely tale...sometimes bankers can show they have a heart too....well we can always dream on....

Viki said...

Great take on the prompt. Sorry, I haven't gotten to last week's yet. I'm so behind.

Gems said...

Definitely fiction! I wish this could be true. I like your take of the post and the fact you gave us all some hope that people can be kind..in the land of writing, anyway.
Gems x

Judie said...

It always pays to be honest! Good one, Anna!!

Ann said...

Cute story. Wouldn't it be fun to have all those twenties come out of the ATM machine at you? Not that I would keep them but it sure would be fun to see them all come out :)

BeadedTail said...

I enjoyed your story! I'd like getting a bag full of twenties! :)

Kat said...

Cute story Anna, and it just proves that honesty is the best policy :) Kat

Sue said...

Love it. She reaps what she sows.

Would that it were true in "real" life...

=)

PS. I'm late with my Centus this week, but here it is:
Sheethead by Sue

nimaruichi said...

Honesty is priceless. Sweet.

Jo said...

That was a very sweet and hopeful story!

lightverse said...

Cute story - and (call me a old-fashioned, but...) I liked the ending very much.

Poetic Justice said...

Nicely done Anna. A reminder that honesty is always best!

Tgoette said...

A very sweet story and well-written too! Great job!

Jenny said...

Anna, I loved this. Honor in all things...hope every day.

Thanks for a wonderful link.

I enjoy your writing very much.

Tina said...

free money i like. who needs a loan now haha ;-)

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