Mrs. Jenny Matlock's Saturday Centus Week 43

Saturday Centus week 43

Please scroll down past my text to read Mrs. Jenny Matlock's instructions.

This is my SC-text for this week:

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'I'm sorry,' said the bank manager refusing to give her a loan.
She went outside to the ATM-machine.
'Only have until the end of the month to get everything out before the auction,' she thought. Putting her ATM-card in the slot, she pressed her code and waited. The ATM machine began dispensing twenties. She let them fall into her shopping bag until it was filled. A thin paper receipt popped out.
'Can't keep this,' she said while handing the bag and receipt to the teller.
Seeing her again before she left he said: 'Wait a minute. Let's talk more about that loan.'

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Wordcount: 100
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Best wishes,
Anna
P.S.
Scoll all the way down past everything. I have decided to rewrite this text. I think it could be clearer if I reword it slightly. Please take a look and compare!

First Commenter:
Donnie
of
New Blessing Everyday


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Welcome to week forty-three of Saturday Centus.

I see you cringing.

Please. Don't be afraid.

I'm going to be nice this week. No wicked prompts based on weird canine romance or strange song lyrics.

Just a plain, old, regular boring SC based on a prompt.

I pinky swear...this is not a trick.

This weeks prompt is:

The ATM machine began dispensing twenties...

You can use this prompt and UP TO 100 additional words to write a story of your choosing in any style of writing you prefer. Just keep your story PG and try to visit as many of the other links as you can!

Please display link button or just a hyper-link back to Saturday Centus. Be careful to link your SC URL to the Linky and not just link to your main blog.

Please e-mail me directly with ???'s or ask your question in a comment and I will do my best to get back to you as soon as possible.

OK. You can exhale now. No tricks at all this week. Just a sweet little treat of a prompt for you to play with.

Feel free to link up anytime between now and next Saturday!

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Here is my re-write:

'I'm sorry,' said the bank manager, refusing her a loan.

She went outside to the ATM-machine.
'Only have until the end of the month,' she thought. Putting her ATM-card in the slot, she pressed her code and waited. The ATM machine began dispensing twenties. She let them fall into her shopping bag until it was completely filled. A thin paper receipt popped out.

'There's something's wrong. This isn't from my account,' she said while handing over the bag and receipt to the teller.

Seeing her again before she left, the loan officer said: 'Wait a minute. Let's talk more about that loan.'

Wordcount: 100
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